Love Does Not Have To Hurt
By Cressida Landless
The Happiness Coach
I am not a scientist but I believe nothing is ever lost or disappears. Even biodegradable matter does not disappear, it just turns into something else. It might provide nutrient rich compost for your vegetables to grow in and then when you pick the vegetable to cook and eat, it turns into something else, it turns into you! The food you eat becomes you!
Quite a thought isn’t it.
This idea can be applied to emotions. What happens to your emotions when you no longer feel them acutely?
Love Hurts, says the song.
Strong emotions can unbalance you.
What happens to the passionate love or the intense anger that you sometimes feel? What happens to your fear when you feel calm again?
The answer is that your emotions do not disappear they become part of you. They sink into your subconscious and even though you do not feel them any longer, they continue to affect you and how you live your life. The subconscious informs the conscious. All your experiences are stored in your subconscious mind and in the cells of your body.
Just like the food you eat, emotions become part of you. And unlike the limb that withers if it is not used, emotions get stronger and more persistent the more they are ignored or pushed away.
Make peace with your emotions, negative or positive. So often I hear people say that they do not want to feel angry, or even, they do not want to feel love because it upsets them too much.
I understand why they might think this but pushing an emotion away does not work. It is very hard work and ultimately is impossible. The part of you that is angry wants to be noticed. The part of you that is scared wants to be comforted. The loving side of you wants to flourish. And your emotions will not stop bothering you until you accept them and bring them in rather than trying to deny them and push them away.
If you push your emotions away they will push back. Do not let them sit in your subconscious to poison your mind.
The moment you pull your emotions in and love them they will transform into lovely compost to feed your thoughts and you will become strong and flourish, and when this happens you can create a life for yourself that makes you happy.
Written by Cressida Landless
Coaching in the Art of Happiness
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