Push, don’t pull
I was out and about recently, yes, a novel experience in these times. I was actually looking for a Christmas present for my son and had no idea what to get him. Anyway, I spotted a shop that might have provided an answer, but I had one of those moments where I pulled instead of pushed. Yes, the door!
Why is it that there’s a great big sign saying PUSH yet our brains PULL?
I think our brains sometimes think they’re a bit more intelligent than we should give them credit for? Possibly they’re trying to short-cut the process of having to read, but let’s face it, the word PUSH isn’t exactly a long word to read, is it?
Life is sometimes like the PUSH/PULL example above. We expect one thing and it turns out to be the exact opposite. When saying to a client recently that it did our brains good to focus on the positive, she replied “Yes my dear, I know what you’re saying, but if I don’t worry about certain things then I won’t be prepared for them”.
I smiled at that one. I hear it quite a lot.
The thing is, the lovely stress bucket we have in our subconscious mind doesn’t know the difference between imagination and reality. Therefore, as we worry about something, that part of the brain feels it’s actually happening now, even though we’re only thinking it ‘might’ happen. This in turn creates a chemical response of creating cortisol, which pushes (not pulls) the brain into a more negative place.
Now, what happens if we focus on the positive? Well, that stops us putting unnecessary stuff in our stress bucket, which in turn means we have more capacity to deal with the curve balls that life sometimes sends us.
Look at it this way, who foresaw back in the middle of 2019 that we’d all be walking round wearing masks in 2020? But if you’re a worrier, you were probably worrying about something completely different that may not have even happened? Therefore, your negative chemicals would have increased which, in turn, would have reduced your defences ahead of Covid even arriving.
At the beginning of every client session I run, I start with the question “What’s been good”? This is a great mind-strengthening exercise that creates positive neurotransmitters. These help us become mentally stronger and therefore more able to deal with the negatives that come along.
So, what’s been good today for you? I’m not after anything major, just getting out of bed can be a good result for some people. Smiling at a pet is quite enough to start the positive progress, that or turning on a positive radio programme that preferably isn’t interrupted by the news!! That’s why I choose a CD or download that makes me feel good, so the music doesn’t get interrupted by adverts or the news. Sometimes we need to make good choices to get our brains into a good place. It’s so much better to push the right way, the positive way, rather than pull in the wrong direction.
Nicola Griffiths – Solution Focused Hypnotherapist and Psychotherapist. http://www.nicolagriffithshypnotherapy.co.uk/